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Kids of Trans Parents

Since I am a transgender parent, the issue of how my gender identity affects my children is very dear to my heart.  I have done some research online about this topic and it seems that there is not a lot of information from an academic perspective.  There just have not been many peer reviewed studies or journal articles about how having a transgender parent affects children.  Fortunately, what information there is offers good news for the transgender parent and their kid(s).

I have done research primarily to understand how to come out to my kids and then help them understand & process this new information.  I have also done a little research in order to protect my parental rights just in case that ever becomes an issue.  Below are the resources that I found to be helpful for me.

Colage: People with a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer Parent

Colage is a wonderful looking organization.  I look forward to finding out more about them and hope that they will be as helpful for my children as it looks like they can be.  Colage started out as an organization run for and run by children of gay and lesbian parents.  They have recently begun to expend their transgender resources.  The beauty of this group is that they advocate for maintaining the parental relationship, but they do it with a focus on the it should be.  This is children of transgender parents saying that what's "in the best interest of the child" is to maintain the relationship.

This resource guide offers a wealth of good information that is written for kids.  It answers many of their questions and it even includes a section on the "Benefits of Being a KOT" (a KOT is a Kid of Trans).  It offers good suggestions for kids on how to handle pronouns, what to call their parent, coming out to their friends, etc, etc.

There are several very good articles here.  Some of the ones I found especially helpful were:  

Wow!  This page has tons of links!  It's their collection of external links.  It's probably the most complete list of resources I've found for transgender parents.  This is a very good place to start if my page isn't helpful to you.

Other Books / Web Parenting Resources

A good little document that covers a little parenting and some legal stuff.  For me the best part was the list of journal articles at the end.

We used this book with the kids after I came out to them.  It's written about a trans girl who transitions during childhood.  While it might be better if I could find one about a parent transitioning, at least this one addresses most of the issues about gender identity and transition in a way kids can easily understand.  Plus, I LOVE the cover art.  Very, very good book.  Highly recommended!

Journal Articles

You might be able to find "free" (not sure if those copies are legally posted for download, so I'm not linking directly to them) copies of these by searching online for them.  Also, I have not gotten my hands on copies of all of these, so I don't know how valuable they are.

Note:  I listed them in reverse chronological order.  If I remember, most of the papers are based in large part on the work that Dr. Richard Green did.  So, you may want to focus on the bottom 3 articles (the oldest ones).

Transsexuals' Children, Richard Green (1998)


I hate having to include this section.  The honest truth, though, is that we need to defend ourselves from discrimination at every turn.  Well, parental rights are no exception.  If you have a disagreement over custody, I recommend consulting an attorney with transgender experience.  Sure, any attorney can fight for you...but you will be paying them for their education.  Regardless of how much experience your attorney has with transgender issues, don't be afraid to provide them with information that you think could help your case - they may not know if you don't tell them!

Lambda Legal is a national (United States) organization doing civil rights work for LGBT people and people with HIV.  This is a link to their landing page for transgender related issues.  Included is transgender rights toolkit which has a legal guide for Transgender Parents.

This book looks like essential reading for your attorney.  If they haven't read this, then buy them a copy!  You ought to read it to so that you can double check that your attorney is handling things the way that you want them to.  Seriously...if you're involved in any sort of family law case then this book is for you.  Highly Recommended!

Professional organizations' official statements with regards to gender identity.

The WPATH published guidelines outlining the standards of care for the health of transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming people.  This is a very comprehensive document that gives guidance to provides about appropriate treatment of transgender patients.  WPATH is recognized by other professional organizations (APA, AMA, etc) as the authority on this subject.

Very useful legal information with specific cases listed.  This page has links to state specific documents.  I found it helpful to read (or at least skim) all of the documents as there are suggestions in some that are not in others.